The desire for safety stands against every great and noble enterprise……Tacitus

These wet September days have given me time to reflect and consider the role of my own "safe place.” Safety is very important to us all, and so many peoples' struggles are related to not feeling safe while growing up and experiencing some form of abuse or trauma as adults. In my professional work, helping support clients develop a sense of safety in themselves, their environments, and in other people is a central part of therapy.

Another important part of personal development and healing relates to Tacitus’s declaration, which involves stepping out of one's comfort zone as a way to grow and mature as a person. It's rather paradoxical in that we all want to feel safe, but often in doing so deprive ourselves of those things that we truly desire and need.

An example of this would be someone who suffers from social anxiety. By deciding not to go to a party, event, or gathering, they may feel a sense of safety and comfort. However, in doing so they may suffer by feeling isolated and disconnected. As social creatures, we all want to feel securely attached to others, but sometimes safety and comfort can get in the way of maintaining and cultivating those connections.

Safety may also involve avoiding having those difficult conversations with friends, family members, or partners. This may allow some short-term comfort, but in the bigger picture creates more distancing, resentment, and feelings of aloneness.

Another example would be not taking a professional risk, like quitting your job, asking for a raise, or seeking a promotion, because there's a fear of the unknown. Yes, there's a certain safety in doing so, but the cost could be the loss of a great opportunity or getting the acknowledgement and recognition you deserve.

There’s a great podcast called We Regret to Inform You which discusses how people have experienced tremendous forms of rejection, yet willfully continue to step into the unknown. For instance, actor Mark Ruffalo auditioned for 800 roles before finally getting a break that launched his career.

Stepping out of your comfort zone can take a great amount of courage and, as the podcast reveals, a supportive network of people that rally around you, especially when overwhelming feelings of doubt, fear, and uncertainty arise.

It can start with just one courageous small action, which can develop into finding your voice, connecting with others, and personal evolution!